Monday, December 22, 2008

Bah Humbug.

Christmas, what a wonderful time of year, full of kindness and cheer, and all that crap...

I know I should be happy that I got anything for christmas at all, but im angry... for my only christmas present I was given some money to buy some essential oils ive been wanting forever, I bought them from a company that seemed legitimate, nothing but glowing reviews of their products, and they where a good deal too... they stated that they are 100% pure essential oils, but when I received them it was obvious that they where all severely diluted, not even close to pure, and one even smells kinda rancid... So my only christmas present, the one I was so excited about, is complete junk...I feel really bad for those who chipped in to get it for me to, I dont feel like I can tell them how bad the oils are because they where so excited about getting me something that I was so excited about receiving, It might hurt them a bit if they found out we where ripped off...:(

I emailed the company, have yet to receive a response though...*sigh* well writing about it has helped at least, I no longer feel angry, just disappointed...

UPDATE: They responded! and offered to give me a full refund if I return the items! even offered to refund the cost of the return shipping!... theres just one little problem... I just accidentally spilled a bunch of the rosemary and lavender all over my arm and lap while trying to sniff test them again to make sure I was sniffing accurately... >.< boy do I feel like an idiot,lol... well, they obviously wont accept them back now, so I guess I'll just take it as a loss...not a complete loss though, it was pretty funny!!!lol...

Friday, December 12, 2008

"Try to approach the task with love and kindness in your heart."

Is what a recently made friend of mine said to a young women recently, full story found HERE,
And it really hit home reading that in the aftermath of a rather heated familial spat... It actually helped cool me down pretty fast so my introspection could kick in a bit...

I have a family member who treats me with complete disrespect most of the time unless Im bending over backwards for him, then he usually acknowledges it...

No, Im not trying to focus on what I perceive as this persons failings in their relationship with me, But my own... Yes, he is disrespectful, sometimes even quite hurtful, But I am the one who chooses how I react, I let it build up and build up till one day he just goes to far and I get really angry and arguements and shouting matches and all that horrible stuff happens, and I cant blame him for that, with him ive forgotten to practice what I always try to practice with the people in my life, to approach every situation with love and kindness in my heart, inspite of their behaviour, I have chosen to react with anger, and although its important that a person sticks up for themselves, it is not right that I allow that anger to dictate how I do it, I need to learn to let go of the anger I have when dealing with him and approach his behaviour with love and kindness, or at least in a more constructive manner than arguing and shouting.

Anger can act like a poison inside of you, it can really tear you up if you dont deal with it in a healthy and constructive manner, but just remember, nomatter how angry you are, nomatter what your feeling, you have the choice on how to react to those feelings and the things that maybe contributing to them, something or certain behaviours can make you angry, but the blame for how you react rests solely on your own shoulders.

p.s. I REALLY need to figure out some cheap/free ways to help relieve stress and negative emotions... Im open to any suggestions.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Cake Recipe, By request.:)

The recipe for the cake I mentioned in the previous entry was requested by my one and only fan, so I decided to post it.:) hehehe

Original Recipe...

1/2 c. butter (1 stick)
1 1/2 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 med. apples, pared and diced (1 1/2 c.)
1 c. canned pumpkin
2 c. all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking powder
3/4 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1/4 tsp. cloves
1/4 tsp. ginger
Confectioners' sugar
In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter; beat in sugar. Add the eggs, one at a time. Stir in vanilla, apples, and pumpkin. Blend in dry ingredients. Turn into a greased and floured 9 inch bundt or angel cake pan. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 55 to 60 minutes. Cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then turn out on a rack to cool. Sprinkle with confectioners' sugar when cool. Serves 16

1/2 c. butter (1 stick)
1 1/2 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 c. Applesauce, I had no apples or money to buy some, but had applesauce!lol
1 c. canned pumpkin
1/3 c. sour cream
2 c. all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking powder
3/4 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
2 Tblsp. ground cinnamon
1 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/4 tsp. ground cloves
1 tsp. ground ginger
1/4 tsp ground Allspice
And heres how I prepared it...
In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter; beat in sugar. Add the eggs, one at a time. Stir in vanilla, applesauce, pumpkin and sour cream. Blend in dry ingredients. Divide batter evenly into two oiled and lightly floured 9 inch cake pans. Bake in a 350 degree oven till it seems done,I checked every 5 minutes after 25 minutes... Cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then turn out on a rack to cool. Frost cake with frosting recipe to follow once cool...

8 oz cold cream cheese (right out of the fridge)
1 stick of room temp butter, REAL butter not margerine. (frosting made with margerine will be pretty disgusting...)
1 pound confectioners sugar
1-2 tsp vanilla depending on personal taste.

Beat cold cream cheese, softened butter, and vanilla together till completely blended!!!
Slowly beat in confectioners sugar, half a cup at a time till completely blended, I used the full pound, which is about 2 cups, so it was VERY sweet, if you prefer a frosting a little less sweet you can even go as low as half a pound (or 1 cup) and still have a decent amount of frosting... Also if the frosting is a bit to thick, which mine was, I added a few tablespoons of milk at a time and mixed it till
it reached the consistency I wanted.

Anyway, Id suggest with the cake to follow the original instructions although the extra spice in my version was super tasty, but I love my spice cakes to be, well... spice cakes!!! lol... so if you love spices then I suggest you use the amounts I list, or whatever feels right for the level of spice you want in your cake.:) But definately use the apples diced like they did and id even suggest maybe throwing in a 1/4 - 1/2 cup roasted chopped nuts, either pecan or walnut probably best for this recipe... Oh, and the frosting recipe originaly called for a raw egg yolk, but I dont like using raw eggs in food, but the frosting turned out awesome without it...

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Dont cry over spilled cake...

The other night I decided to bake a cake for my friends birthday, she really likes pumpkin allot so I decided to try and bake her a pumpkin cake, I soon found a very promising recipe online with many people saying how much they loved the recipe, it was for an apple pumpkin spice cake, sounded really good so I gave it a go...

I worked very hard making said cake, even making applesauce for the recipe out of fresh apples from my trees, halfway through the baking process I checked on them, saw they where cooking unevenly so I just switched them around so they would cook more evenly.

A delicious warm spicy scent wafts through the house, the cake is done, I take it out and set it out to cool, I come back an hour later and notice that my cakes have shrunk to nearly half their original size!!! Needless to say, I was rather upset about this, Ive never messed up when making a cake before, so it was disheartening to say the least...

I decided to bake another cake, a chocolate one this time, I was out of most of the ingredients I would need to make one from scratch, but this one was a box cake, Duncan Hines I believe, I made the cake, it came out beautifully...perfect, smelled so delicious...

After cooling the cake and making the frosting I put both layers on plates and picked them up to bring over to the frosting (yeah, probably shoulda brought the frosting to them, LOL) the pocket on my sweat pants caught on the knob of a nearby cabinet drawer, my beautiful cakes decided they would try to fly,lol... unfortunately they failed miserably...

Cursing quite violently, I angrily threw the pieces of the cake away, extremely pissed off and very tired (since it was almost 6 am) I stormed into my room, layed down, and cried for awhile.

It took me a little while but I realized how silly I was being, yes, I had tried to do something special for some one whom I really care for and I messed it up pretty bad,lol... but the world wasnt ending, it was just a cake, and I still had that flattened dense apple pumpkin spice cake to work with...

I rushed back into the kitchen, took a tiny piece of the cake and tasted it... it was delicious! dense, flat, but delicious! I took the frosting I had made and frosted the hell out of that cake,lol, when I brought it the next day to give to her she really loved it, although there was a consensus amongst us that it really needed some nuts...In hindsight I wish i had mentioned that with us around, it probably has all the nuts it can handle! LOL! It was very delicious though, kindve like a spice cake version of fruit cake...not quite as dense as fruit cake though, but close... I keep having to remind myself, failure isnt a bad thing, its just another chance to learn and grow!
And ya know what? I bet that recipe would make a kick ass loaf cake with some chopped apples in it and maybe chopped dried apricots, and of course...nuts!!! lol...

(oh, and we had so much fun just hanging out there that night, it was an awesome night, and the cake, although rather dense and rich, was still a hit, although none of us could finish our piece completely because of how rich it and the frosting was,lol... And the best thing about the night? She seemed really happy with the wonderful birthday she had, even total strangers had been really nice to her all day! and hey, with me, im always happy with any day that has lots of hugs and some cuddles! lol)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


I found myself unloading and stacking nearly two chords of wood today for my father, I started out in a pretty up mood but with every splinter that chose to free itself inside my flesh I found myself getting angrier and angrier at the WOOD of all things!!! I had to take a step back for a second and think, did it really make sense to be angry with wood for the slivers I received? No, it really doesnt, it was my own fault I received those splinters, I wasnt careful enough and I didnt wear any work gloves...

So I guess what im getting at, is that sometimes you get angry, thats normal and healthy, but you need to recognize what your really angry at, splinters suck, but I wasnt REALLY angry at them, I was angry at my own foolishness, thinking I could stack 2 chords of wood without gloves and not get a few splinters... But hey, failure is just another opportunity to learn!

Another question for ya, do you ever find yourself getting angry for no rational reason? have you stopped to consider the real reason your angry?... or do you, like most of us, tend to let it get a bit to far before you realize how your acting?...


We all attempt to find some order to this chaos, a way to wrest control from the raging winds that toss us like rag dolls through this point of existence we call life, Some form of hope we can cling to as we search and strive for whatever it is that individually and as a society drives us, Sometimes you dont even know what your really doing, and sometimes even when you do, you still ignore the why...

I guess what im getting at, is that I am here, as I am in every other part of my existence, to find out the "why", to examine the effect so I can locate the cause, and maybe, make a difference...

Or at least rant randomly about the things I do/dont understand till finally something makes sense...


(P.S.- If you read this, id like to know, if you dont mind, Why you are on this site...I'll leave the deeper questions for later,lol.)