Dream I had last night...

 I'm walking through a dessert,  the hot red sun baking everything around me, but I can only see it for brief moments as the sand envelopes me more and more with every step, I see every single grain as it passes by me, some stinging me, some settling uncomfortably into my clothes, some blinding me, I keep walking till I reach a large boulder, I climb to the top of this boulder to only find another, I keep climbing and climbing, boulder after boulder, I finally reach the top, I stare out over the maelstrom, to find nothing but sand in every direction, and as I stand there,I see the maelstrom churn with its desire to rip away at me, one piece of sharp hot sand at a time, reluctant to leave the sanctuary of this small mountain, I stare deeply into the depths of the cutting winds...Knowing there is only one way out of the dessert, I cover my face, as I stand on the edge of this little mountain of boulders, I cant decide whether to just sit there and wait for the end, or to dive back into the maelstrom...

Not to seem trite...

...But I've had some rather trans-formative experiences lately, I experienced love from two friends who had no ulterior motives other than being my friend and enjoying my presence in their lives, I experienced happiness beyond anything Ive ever felt before, I was kissed by a thousand cherry blossoms,  and embraced by two shining suns,  and I was able to attain a level of peace and quiet in my mind for a short while there that ive seldom even touched for a second previously... it was quite wonderful.:)

Becoming Sunshine.

Sometimes when you feel everything is going right in your life, then that one thing happens to make it seem like its all come crashing down, and your surrounded by a storm of confusion and doubt and fear and and anger... Sometimes you have to look right into the eye of that storm and tell it that you are NOT going to be blown aside, that you are NOT going to drown in its torrents, and sometimes you just have to plant both your feet firmly on the ground and allow its lightening to hit you full force, take all of its energy into you, accept it into the very core of you, then instead of allowing that storm to consume you, YOU consume IT, hold it inside of you, and love it till it transforms into a beautiful light that radiates out from you, gently warming all who are near.

Update!

woohoo, ok, I talked with the guy mentioned in a previous post, and he has calmed down for now and isnt being a jerk anymore...yay...now im off, sorry I couldnt make this longer but I gotta head out!

Anger...

Its an unpleasant feeling, I haven't felt this angry in a very long time, and I really don't like it, feeling like you really WANT to cause harm to another human being feels really terrible, I probably dislike it more than just about any other feeling Ive ever felt... But when a man repeatedly disrespects you, and even more importantly, talks about the woman you love like she is a piece of meat, it becomes very difficult to resist the urge to get angry, when he continued his behavior after I made it clear I found it highly inappropriate, it made me more angry, especially considering the fact that in-spite of how he has treated me the last few times we have hung out, I have been quite friendly and nice and polite to him... im starting to wonder if he is purposely trying to invite physical violence from me...and honestly, I may give him his wish soon if he cant learn some respect, not out of anger hopefully, but to show him that his actions have consequences and I will not allow his behavior to continue if he wishes to be anywhere near me.

Good news!

They found her and she is ok!!!yay:D

12 year old girl missing!!!

My friends 12 year old sister has been missing for 2 days now, whatever your beliefs, please pray for her safe return, her name is Julia...