Motorcycle?!

well, somebody has emailed me about possibly wanting to buy my car which I cant afford to fix, if they do then I will have enough money to buy and insure a motorcycle! specifically a 250cc honda Rebel, from the mid to late 80's, gets 90mpg on average, which means I'll be able to go almost anywhere I want on the west coast for next to nothing!!! im so excited... I hope he buys the car, I love this car, but being able to go down south and visit my family for $20 round trip would be pretty awesome... and having transportation will make it easier for me to find more work, so the possibility of more money, so I can then buy a car again for the rainy times... but the traveling, that will be the best part...I could go across the entire country for around $100 or so...well, as far as the cost of gas goes that is...

random thoughts...

Im tired but I cant sleep, I'm hungry but I cant eat, Ive got a million things to say, but I cant speak... It seems to be the mantra of my life, cant cant cant... right now I feel like I cant even come close to describing exactly what I mean, but maybe all these "cants" in my life are just "wont's"... maybe I don't know how to do something yet, or express things the way I want , but saying I "cant" wont get me any closer, it only serves to limit me I think... maybe I should start saying "I don't know how yet!" or "I'm almost able to sleep." maybe it wont be for another day or two, but I will still find sleep eventually... And even if I am unable at the moment to get the meaning of my words across to those I'm speaking to, maybe I eventually will be able to...

Or maybe I cant do anything the way I want, so I'll have to adjust my wants to the needs of each individual situation... Who knows... I'm just thinking out-loud...well, quietly out-loud, as this is typed, and I don't type very loud... hahaha (can you sense the sleep deprivation?lol)

Im back!-ish...

well im back on, mostly because I just remembered I have this site,lol... I've been really busy, oddly not doing to much... I did move though, and have been looking for more work, thinking of joining the navy pretty soon here too, not really sure...I know some of my physical problems will make it impossible for me to join if I tell them the truth about it, so my only choice would be to lie about them, then hope I can make it through basic in-spite of them... I know exactly what I want to do with my life, its kinda funny, most people dont have a clue what they want to do, but I have no idea how I will do it, everything I try doesnt pan out... oh and believe me, I try allot of different paths to take me to my goals...

Why does it seem that the simpler your goal, the more complex the path is? oh well, all I can do is keep trying, and find what measure of peace I can in this world and be happy with it whether I reach my goals or not... sometimes I wonder if the only point of life is being alive, then I have a hard time deciding whether or not I should feel sad or relieved...